Construction & Building Jokes


At MH Construction, we love a good laugh and like to look on the bright side. Enjoy.


(These jokes are in no way associated with the behaviour, skill set or work ethic of MH Construction staff – They are just too funny not to include!)


  • Q: How many builders does it take to render a shed? It takes 4.
  • A: One awesome plasterer with the skill to do the job and 3 guys to stand around watching him and saying “Great Job” every few minutes…


  • Q: How did the nosy roofer end up doing such a bad job on site?
    A: He couldn’t stop eavesdropping.


  • Q: Why do engineers enjoy fixing steelwork together?
    A: Because it’s riveting.


  • Q: How many safety inspectors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Four. One to change it and three to hold the ladder.

A lonely builder put an add in the builders gazette not thinking he would get any replies, it just said: “Wife Wanted”.
He was amazed the next day to find his inbox had 100 replies!
But they were all from other builder’s and simply read “Take Mine, Mate!”

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A bricklayer

Q: So you want to hear a construction joke?
A: Oh sorry I’m still working on it.

Q: What do you call Bob the Builder when he’s unemployed?
A: Bob

Any carpenters looking for work?
Cabinet falling apart, 10 Downing Street.

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.
It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.

Know any good ones? Please send them to us at MH Construction, Kent.